My name is Kristin, which was one of the most popular names for baby girls in the 1980s. In fact, according to Google (thank you Google!), over 70,500 baby girls were named Kristin during the 1980s and another 83,228 baby girls were named Kristen. Thus, I'm not really that worried about using my own name.  Plus these stories are about my life, and it is my choice to share them.
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The other people involved, however, deserve to have their privacy respected -- especially my minor children. It wasn't their fault that I fell in love with a narcissist. Thus, I will refer to almost everyone else in this blog by initials. There are a few recurring "characters," though, for whom it would be better to use pseudonyms so that I can refer to them by a name, even if it isn't their real one. These include my narcissistic ex, our beautiful children, my supportive parents, and my wonderful divorce attorney. Here are the names I have chosen to use for them, as well as the reasons I have chosen them:
According to Greek mythology, Typhon (who I may also refer to as "Ty" in this blog at times) is known as the "Father of All Monsters."Â He is the father of other mythical beasts, such as Cerberus (the three-headed dog that protects the underworld), the Hydra (a multi-headed serpent), the Chimera (a fire-breathing beast composed of multiple animals), the Sphinx (creature with a lion's body and a woman's head), and the Nemean Lion.Â
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He was a colossal, primordial storm giant, and he was the son of the Earth (Gaia) and the abyss (Tartarus). He is described as the deadliest creature in existence. He has a 100 burning snake heads that spoke in the terrifying voices of bulls, lions, leopards, and hissing serpents; massive wings; legs of writhing vipers; eyes that flashed fire; and breath of scorching, destructive flames.Â
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He waged war against Olympus but was eventually defeated by Zeus, who trapped him under Mount Etna in Sicily. It is said that his fury causes volcanic eruptions there.Â
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The monster's name is the root of the word "typhoon," as he was believed to control all destructive, violent storm winds. Â
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I won't explain why I thought this was an appropriate pseudonym for my ex -- I'm sure you'll understand as you read more of stories posted on this blog!
For our oldest daughter, I've chosen the name "Ursula" in honor of Ursula K. Le Guin, best known as the author of the EarthSea high-fantasy series.  Â
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Ms. Le Guin has famously been described as a mix of opposites: gracious yet tough, deeply warm but sharp-witted, and fiercely independent. She was grounded and continuously spoke truth to power. She had no patience for pretension or literary snobbery. She was an introvert who fiercely protected her privacy but, once she was comfortable, she was generous with her affection and her conversations were filled with laughter. She was an early, fierce voice for feminism, and she was intellectually curious since a young age. Â
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Ms. Le Guin's best known fantasy universe is probably Earthsea. The Earthsea Cycle is a collection of six books and several short stories that were published between 1968 and 2018. Unlike traditional epic fantasies like Lord of the Rings that focus on massive battles between absolute good and absolute evil, Earthsea is deeply philosophical. It focuses on balance, self-knowledge, environmentalism, and the power of language. It introduced the concept of a wizarding school decades before Harry Potter, and the works were unusual in that most of the characters were explicitly described as being red-brown, brown, or black skinned. Â
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A description of our oldest daughter would sound a lot like the one of Ms. Le Guin. She is fiercely independent and has a hard time leaning on anyone for support of any kind. She is especially terrible at sharing her emotions.  She is also an introvert, but she is fiercely loyal once she considers you a friend. And, when she is in the mood, she can be very affectionate with her loved ones. She is sharp witted and has an even sharper tongue. Beneath that tough exterior, though, she has a heart of gold, and she will always help others if she can find a way to do so. She has always been intellectually curious too, although certain topics have less appeal to her than others now that she's gotten older (::cough, cough:: chemistry::cough, cough::). She loves languages, and she is a big believer in equality based on sex, gender, sexual orientation, race, religion, or disability.
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Like Ms. Le Guin, our oldest daughter is also a gifted writer who prefers writing fantasy stories. She most commonly publishes on fan-fiction websites, and her most read story has approximately 30,000 reads as of August 2026. Among other things, her work explores issues related to relationships between people, mental health issues, and self-knowledge.Â
Peter Parker, also known as the superhero Spider-Man, is brilliant and inventive, but he also deals with normal, everyday problems like money troubles. Peter is a little socially awkward -- and a bit of a nerd -- but he is popular within his established friend group. He is deeply responsible and loyal, and he is guided by the memory of his Uncle Ben's lesson that "with great power comes great responsibility." He is altruistic and constantly sacrifices his own happiness, safety and personal life to save others. He is witty and sarcastic, but he sometimes also uses that humor as a defense mechanism. He often blames himself when things go wrong, even if it is undeserved. Peter is also a constant worrier. Nonetheless, Peter also has an indomitable will and always finds a way to pick himself back up in the end.Â
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To me, this sounds just like our oldest son. Like Peter, our son is incredibly smart, especially when it comes to math and science. He would probably consider himself a nerd, although I wouldn't go that far. His dream is to attend MIT, just like Peter Parker wanted to in Spider-Man: No Way Home.Â
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Our oldest son isn't really socially awkward like Peter, but he is shy around people he doesn't know. That changes completely once he becomes comfortable though -- he becomes a chatterbox. In fact, from what I see, he is the glue that holds his friend group together. Our oldest son would do anything to help anyone. He is clearly an empath, which is both one of his strongest traits and one of his biggest weaknesses.Â
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Of all our children, he's definitely the most responsible one (right now, but the kids only range from 8 to 14 years). He makes me laugh all the time, but it is usually because he is commenting on something going on around him in an amusing way. He's a busybody or, as my mother likes to say, a yenta. He is also a worrier like Peter Parker -- he worries about his grades (even though he's a straight A student), he worries about our financial situation (which is often precarious because his father refuses to pay child support), and he worries about me (I wish he wouldn't). Although he sometimes gets beat down emotionally, he always finds a way to pull himself back up. Â
For our younger son, I've chosen the name "Huck," as in Huckleberry Finn. The famous character created by Mark Twain is incredibly realistic and adaptable. He deeply values his personal freedom and is anti-conformist. Despite that rough exterior, though, Huck has tender heart. He feels guilt when others suffer and is disturbed by cruelty, violence, and injustice. He has a strong sense of right and wrong.Â
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Like Huck, our youngest son's teachers have often commented that he has a strong sense of right and wrong. He is deeply affected whenever he perceives an injustice to have occurred, whether it be someone cheating at a game or treating someone poorly. It isn't uncommon for him to get up and walk away from--or more like storm off from--a family game if he thinks someone has cheated.
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Our youngest son is also a realist. He understands that people mess up and is willing to give them a second chance, but he will also only tolerate so much before he writes someone off completely. He also deeply values personal freedom like Huck. Â
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Also like Huck, though, our youngest son has a tendency to get himself into trouble. The difference between our son and Huck, though, is that Huck's trouble usually results from attempting to survive, doing the right thing, being in the wrong place at the wrong time, or simply breaking the rules. Our son, on the other hand, tends to get in trouble because he speaks before thinking and/or does something to try and impress his peers. I keep hoping that it's just a phase that he'll grow out of, but I guess only time will tell.Â
If you have ever read the Romana books by Beverly Clearly, you will know that Ramona Quimby has an unstoppable imagination and is a force of nature who doesn't do anything halfway. She has a lot of energy and is talkative, which sometimes overwhelms her parents and teachers. Ramona is fiercely independent and isn't scared to stand up for herself if she feels she is being treated unfairly.Â
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Underneath that loud exterior, though, Ramona has a sensitive heart and is deeply emotional. She desperately wants to be loved and noticed, and she has a classic case of "youngest child syndrome" where she constantly battles to be taken seriously. She has deep insecurities as a result of being the youngest child, and she exhibits a lot of attention-seeking behavior to avoid being overlooked. Â
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Our youngest daughter is a lot like Ramona. She has the biggest personality out of all of our children. We switched from a private school to the public school system when our youngest daughter was entering first grade, and by end of the year I swear that the whole school knew who she was. She claims to be shy, but that child could talk to a brick wall! I actually got a note home from her teacher last year saying something like, "[name] is a really great kid, but we're having a bit of a problem with her being too chatty in class."Â
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Our youngest daughter is also hugely creative. She loves to draw, come up with her own songs, and create her own worlds and stories when playing with her toys and on Minecraft. She's trying to teach herself to play the piano and loves all kinds of arts and crafts. Â
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Also like Ramona, our youngest daughter's loud exterior sometimes hides the fact that she is a sensitive soul. Deep down, she just wants to be loved. When she was really little, she would call out "Daddy, daddy" repeatedly to and get her father's attention. He would ignore her about 95% of the time, which contributed to her deep-seated need to be noticed. I always felt the need to compensate for her father's lack of attention and love, which didn't helped with our youngest daughter's attention-seeking behaviors either. While I admit that, I also won't apologize for giving my daughter the love she needed.
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Anyway, our youngest daughter has no problem standing up for herself or others. She is the first person to intervene if she sees someone picking on someone else on the playground, for example. And of all our children, she was the first to stand up to her father's bullying and continues to be the one to stand up to him the most often. Â
Most people reading this site are probably familiar with Molly Weasley from the Harry Potter series. She is one of the best matriarchal characters I can think of, defined by her fierce motherly love, intense protectiveness, and warm heart. She is loves her family without abandon and would do anything for them, but she can also be an intense disciplinarian if the need arises. She is a generous person but that doesn't make her a push-over.  She has a bit of a temper, is a good judge of character, and doesn't let go of past wrongs easily. When the need arises, she has a warrior-like bravery and is willing to do anything to protect her family. One of Molly Weasley's most iconic moments (for me at least) is when she steps in to protect Ginny from Bellatrix Lestrange during the Battle of Hogwarts, yelling (in the movie Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 2), "NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU BITCH!" Â
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My mother reminds me a lot of Molly Weasley. Sure, she only had three kids to raise, not seven. And she isn't nearly as worry-prone or anxious as Mrs. Weasley, or at least she wasn't before I married my ex. But she has the same fiercely devoted love for all of her family members, including my father, their children, their grandchildren, and our very large extended family. The only person I've ever met who doesn't like my mother is my ex, and we can dive into that psychology as we go. She is a little like my youngest daughter in that she can talk to anyone like she's been their best friend for years, even if they only met for the first time 10 seconds ago. It's a skill I've always envied and never been able to master.Â
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Indeed, my mother is one of the nicest people I know . . . unless you get on her bad side. She is an excellent judge of character. Usually she tries just to avoid talking to people she doesn't like, but sometimes there isn't a choice and she isn't one to hold her tongue just to be polite. She also tends not to let things go. Sometimes it makes sense to me. For example, she refused to play nice with my aunt's abusive ex-husband when they got back together after the first protective order my aunt obtained against him. Sometimes, though, my mother's grudges don't really make sense to me, like the fact that she still tries to avoid filling her car at Exxon gas stations because of the Exxon Valdez oil spill that occurred in 1989. But that stubbornness is what makes her, her. Â
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Most importantly, just like Molly Weasley, my mother would do anything to protect those she loves. After my ex was forcibly removed from our home pursuant to an emergency protective order, my mother immediately moved in with me to help me with the kids even though she knew how dangerous the situation was. And my ex wasn't just a threat to me -- he hates my mother with a passion so she has giant target painted on her back too. Yet she was willing to endure all of that risk to protect me and my children.Â
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I can clearly picture my mother standing with a magic wand in her hand, facing my ex, yelling, "NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU BASTARD!" And I think anyone who knows her would agree. Â
Since I'm going with Molly Weasley for my mother, it's only fitting that I go with Arthur Weasley for my father. Luckily, the name suits him.Â
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Mr. Weasley is warm, and the fact that he became a surrogate father to Harry Potter illustrates his kindness. He has a genuine curiosity about new things and technologies, as evidenced by his endless tinkering with Muggle artifacts. He is highly skilled, but is often overlooked due to his understated nature. He values people, safety and happiness rather than wealth, status or luxury. He has rigid morals and believes in equality. Mr. Weasley is also fiercely loyal and fiercely protective of his family. Although he is generally easygoing, that relaxed approach to life vanishes completely if one of his loved ones is threatened. If pushed hard enough, his gentle demeanor snaps into a cold anger. He is brave in a crisis and doesn't give up under pressure.
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My father is similar. He is so supportive of my two siblings and me in everything we do. He is a warm and caring person. For example, my brother played football growing up. There was one underprivileged kid on the team who was right on the border of the weight limit between the division they were currently playing in and the next division up. The kid wanted very badly to stay on my father's team, so my parents let him stay at their house every Friday night so they could help monitor what he ate. The kid wouldn't eat anything before weigh-in on Saturday morning, and my parents would buy him whatever foot-long sub he wanted from Subway, along with whatever other sides he wanted, to eat as soon as the weigh-in was over. Â
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My father is a project manager in the IT world, and he is very talented at what he does. Unfortunately, like Mr. Weasley, he wasn't always appreciated where he worked until after he left. Perhaps his former employers assumed he was inefficient because of how laid back he appeared, but he always put together the best teams and provided the best work product. His teams were loyal to them, often following him when he moved to a new employer. And he returned that with a fierce loyalty of his own; he is dedicated to making sure that his people land on their feet no matter what their next steps may be. Â
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Our mother was generally the disciplinarian at home, but the few times our father was pushed to the limit are unforgettable. He's generally laid back and a peacemaker by nature, but he won't tolerate people hurting his loved ones. Most of my father's anger when he finally gets to that point is still just talk, but there have been a handful of times where I was worried he would actually get into a fist fight with my ex, for example. Â
Atticus Finch from To Kill a Mockingbird may be one of the most iconic literary attorneys of all time. He is the lawyer that lawyers look up to. He has unwavering moral integrity, deep empathy, and a calm rationality that everyone should try to aspire to. He refuses to compromise his personal values for public approval, rarely raises is voice or displays anger, and is quietly courageous. He is honest and intellectual, and he remains completely balanced and fair-minded in the courtroom. Â
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My divorce attorney is not perfect; he is just a man after all. That said, I could not have asked for a better person to have been on my side during the divorce. He was first recommended to me by Child Protective Services in 2020. (Don't worry, you'll hear that story!) Although I ended up not following through with filing a divorce back then, he was the first person I called after my ex laid hands on me during our fight in October 2024. I am so thankful that he agreed to work with me again. Â
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My divorce attorney is very well-respected in Loudoun County, Virginia. He would never compromise himself on my behalf, and I have to present supporting evidence of my side of the story to him before he will assert a given position in court.  Â
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He is also very understanding of my situation. He knows what my priorities are (the children!) and what I am willing to give in on. I tell him everything that my ex does (1) so he stays in the loop and (2) I have a written record somewhere of everything. Because of that, my attorney knows exactly how much I've had to put up with. Despite the fact that my ex has shifted some of his anger to my poor attorney, he has never complained to me about having gotten himself involved in my case. I hope he knows that I couldn't have done this without him, and that my kids and I owe so much more than overdue attorneys fees to him.
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Being around my ex these days is not an easy experience. I have always had to get a police escort out following each court appearance due to my ex's unpredictable behavior. Now, though, my attorney now has to get a police escort after each court hearing too because my ex verbally threatened him one too many times in the hallway outside the courtroom following a hearing. During the hearings, my ex spends a good amount of the time accusing my attorney of lying or other unethical behavior. As frustrated as I know my attorney is, I have never seen him lose his temper with my ex, and definitely not while in the courtroom. It's kind of amazing to watch. Â
